bittersweet

I made decision a years back to live my life as few regrets as possible. Granted it hasn’t always been easy, but I’ve put on my brave heart and face to tried and stay true to my word. It’s not easy to make major changes and major moves in your life, especially when it involves leaving the ones you love behind. It feels like there are so many reasons not to do something, but the one compelling reason that shouts from your guts, is the one that keeps u going.

Sometimes I’ve been wondering where I would be right now if I’ve made different decisions in my life. If maybe I had stayed with my family all the time, waiting for a good luck to come rolling to me...urghh...or maybe I’ve been better if I had not pursue my masters before but then still it was my dream...To achieve my mission of being an educational person and getting involve in this educational path…

I’ve been having a lot of ‘what if moments’ lately…with the hopes again and again was given to me but then still it turns out like ‘crash!!!’..Thinking what’s the best in your life and was everything you have done worth for u…having this type of life cliché ‘treating the one u love like u want them to treat u’…but then life is always not fair…no more hope...Thing’s always don’t happen the way u want it to be, but when they do, it’s always right on time…. :)

HOPE is the little voice you hear whisper in heart saying ‘maybe’ when it seems the entire world in your mind is shouting ‘no!’….tepuk dada tanya hati or ketuk kepala tanya akal..

They say the people u love the most are also the one who have the ability to hurt u the most. I do experienced this and it’s like a blade straight to the heart...might say luckily I’m still alive...Hmm...But still the most amazing thing is that it doesn’t kill you, as cliché as it sounds, it does only make you stronger.

The hurt and bitterness may linger for a while...Maybe not that ‘a while’...It does takes time, but soon it fades when we ourselves let it go. The longer we hold onto it, the more it eats at the core of our heart and may destroy you...Sometimes we didn’t realize that when one door is closed in front of you, there is still a lot of doors waiting for you to come in and might be a better door and better room for you to be more appreciated and respected.

Of course we do have experienced, learnt few things about people around us in our lifetime. Me myself have learnt that no other living creature can produce as much affection as another person and that almost no other living creature can hurt u more. I’ve learnt that people can be fickle, but then they are also caring.

I’ve learnt that people are cruel, they make mistakes that they sometimes have bad judgment, that they say hurtful things without a second thought, but most importantly, I’ve learnt that people need forgiveness.

“People…You can never change the way they feel. Better let them do just what they will. For they will. If you let them steal your heart from you...”  You can’t change them but you can change how you react.